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The
Afterlife
One day, JJ married Bobo, his
dog. At first the priest didn't think it was quite right, but the amount of
money JJ offered even a priest couldn't refuse. So JJ and Bobo were married.
After two months they decided it wasn't right, so they got a divorce. Bobo,
once again, became JJ's dog. Then JJ met a lady named Darla Anne, and they
got married. They moved to Wisconsin where they could easily make contact
with their ancestors' and they did so every Thursday night. Bobo became
offended that her master's wife always called her BOOBOO, so she decided to
change her name. She changed it, by way of court, to Me.
Everybody loved the name Me. It sometimes got people confused, though. Darla
Anne said that her stepsister's cousin's brother-in-law's friend's wife's nephew's
name was Me.
The next day, the people decided the name was a stupid name. They thought
only a moron would have a disgraceful name like that. All the people came out
of their houses with bombs, knives, meat hooks, flame-throwers, and machine
guns. They blew Me's head off with their guns. One man threw a bomb and the
shrapnel shredded Me's leg up.
JJ was happy and felt like burning up all his money, so he did.
JJ was so sad about the death of his beloved Bobo
that he killed himself. In the afterlife, JJ met up with Bobo; and they were,
once again, wed. JJ and Bobo, she had changed her name back because she had
never really liked the name Me to begin with, were very happy. JJ admitted
that he had only married Darla Anne out of jealousy because he thought Bobo
was cheating on him, but Bobo assured him that that could never happen.
Darla Anne felt very sad that Bobo and JJ had passed away. She just couldn't
believe it. So she convinced herself that they didn't die, and kept on living
as if they were there.
One day at her workplace she was caught talking to herself. Her boss, Mr.
Spree, had seen her doing this several times before but just ignored it. He
made her go and take a test the next day. The test was titled "Are You
Insane?" Darla Anne took the test and then was put in a holding station
until the results came back.
The results said that she was crazy and she was stupid. She walked, and ran,
and crawled until she got to a far place that people call . . . her closet in
her room!!!!! Oh, no, what would be in the closet?!?!?! She took out a piece
of a Lego set. She ate it. The Lego master and ruler came to her and said
that they would do something terrible! So they took her Lego set. That wasn't
the bad part, though. They went away and came back with JJ. They kissed for
3,205,027,655,856,945,526,782,156,272,695,211,876,452,852 hours and two
minutes, so they went to Las Vegas and didn't get married. Darla Anne died,
because she wanted a Lego set for Halloween.
Darla Anne was an evil woman; and as soon as she
heard about JJ and Bobo's wedding, she devised a scheme that would get rid of
Bobo forever so that she could own JJ all for herself without some crummy dog
to interfere. Since she was not particularly bright, Anni, as Darla Anne now
called herself though she hadn't made it legal yet, decided to poison Bobo
(But, since Bobo was already dead, the poison wouldn't make much
difference.). That night at dinner, they (Bobo, Anni, and JJ) all had wine,
and Bobo's was poisoned.
When that didn't work, Anni tried to convince Bobo that JJ was having an
affair. Bobo was a smart dog and saw right through Anni's dirty lie; but when
Bobo told JJ about it, JJ got down on his knees and told Bobo it was true.
So Anni thought up the best plan yet. She would make JJ jealous. It was
brilliant! All she had to do was pretend to love some other man and make JJ
jealous of this other lover boy.
The next day at sunrise, Anni went out in search of a boyfriend. She bumped
into a clever, handsome, rich grizzly bear. His name was Ivan A. Etue. She
decided that since he was a rather bold and strong grizzly bear, he would do.
IT DIDN'T WORK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Anni was soooooooooooo mad. Then she thought up a great idea. She would try
to get rid of Bobo again. She would trick her into walking into the afterlife
next door.
So, later that century, she came up to Bobo and told her that JJ was waiting
the other side of the crooked door. Bobo believed her because she had slipped
some "believing what anyone tells you" potion into her drink last
night. Bobo took three steps and she was in a new afterlife. As she walked
through, Anni screamed, "You, stupid! You just walked out of the
afterlife that JJ and I are in. Now, you can never come back; because a newcomer
just came, and this afterlife is full. No one can come into yours either;
because, now, with you in it, yours is full, too!"
Anni went up to JJ, and she hugged him. He slapped her almost as hard as he
could. JJ went looking for a woman. "Well, that game was easy," he
thought. He was so bored. He played checkers with himself and all kinds of
other games. He needed a new life he thought. He thought his life was pretty
sad (I mean the guy plays games with himself). JJ went to his afterlife
master and told him he was bored. The master sent him into the real world
again. JJ said it was great being back in the real world. The master smiled
and sent JJ back with the dinosaurs. Now, the master was really smiling.
Since there was a vacancy Bobo went back into her
old afterlife in search of Anni (Bobo hated JJ now because he had an affair).
Revenge is sweet! Bobo thought. But unbeknownst to Bobo, Anni had
unlawfully (laws still apply in the afterlife) changed her name, this time to
Barbara Anne (she likes to keep "Ann" in her name).
Meanwhile, JJ missed the girl with which he had cheated Bobo; and so he
committed suicide, hoping that his spot hadn't been filled; but he ended up
going into an after life ten blocks down; and he didn't know where he was (He
was in wooly mammoth afterlife, because there weren't any other vacancies.).
Bobo found Barbara Anne and told that the grizzly bear was waiting for her in
the woods; and since Barbara Anne liked the handsome devil, she went to see
him. Bobo took advantage of this and asked the master of that particular
afterlife to boot Barbara Anne back to real life, and so he did. That left a
vacancy; and since JJ shouldn't be with the wooly mammoths, JJ came back.
Finally, the master of the afterlife said that he was fed up with all this
moving around. He was an old fashion kind of guy; so he decided to flip a
coin and whoever called heads was right, would go back to the real world. He
had to leave, so this was his reason to divide the people up. He had to get a
baby sitter.
It just so happened that JJ and Bobo stayed
together in the afterlife, and the grizzly bear and Barbara Anne fell in love
in the real world.
Just then, the emperor of the real world said that he was sorry; but because
of over-population, Ivan A. Etue and Barbara Anne had to go back to an
afterlife. They went back and started an afterlife (a new one) called the
Love Couple Afterlife.
They had a great time together, and they got a cat and 839,483,294,098 fish.
They went to a place to get fish, and the afterlife master was there. They
had a chance to go back to the real world. But then they realized that he was
from their original afterlife.
JJ and Bobo had 5,364,625,707,979,876,895,897,668,977,797,869,775,676 half
puppy-half human kids. The babysitter in their afterlife had gone mad and
left. Everybody was free to do anything they wanted, and that resulted in
mass chaos. Bobo and JJ wanted out but they couldn't until their afterlife
master came back. Bobo got lost one day in the afterlife forest and JJ went mad.
He joined the afterlife Mafia and by the time Bobo was found he was a raving
lunatic and didn't even know who she or any of his children were.
The afterlife mental hospitals couldn't contain
him and he was constantly breaking out. This pushed Bobo over the edge and
she went insane too. They were married again. Being together had somehow
calmed them considerably. They couldn't stand this afterlife any longer, so
they snuck away though the door next to the one that Darla Anne had tricked
Bobo to go though so many centuries ago.
Barbara Anne
and Ivan A. Etue had been married shortly after staring their Love Couple
Afterlife. They were cruel to the people within their afterlife. They had no
limit to the amount of people they let in so it was, naturally, crowded. This
just happened to be where Bobo and JJ went when they came though the door.
They hated this place even more than the chaotic afterlife they left. They
lived in agony for the rest of Eternity under the enslavement of Barbara Anne
and Ivan A. Etue, who where happy to treat these lunatics even worse than
anyone else in their domain because of the centuries-long hatred between
them.
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