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Week of
1/5/03 Monday – “All I Want for Christmas is a Happy New Year” I face today the first day of winterterm. Three credits in four weeks at three hours five days a week. I’m scared. Eight months ago, I thought I was done with school. I didn’t know if I would be kicked out or forced to drop out, but it didn’t matter, because I knew that I could not handle school. In fact, the past two and a half years have been more painful than I can even try to express, and too painful to talk about. I don’t know what happened. It could have been a talented new counselor, a higher dosage of medication, or the simple refusal to give in to despair. Somehow, though, I took more than twice the credits I planned for this semester, and emerged with a 4.0. This is the best news I’ve had in years, but it makes me nervous. I need to continue this same way, but can I? I have plans upon plans upon plans, but what is too much? I can’t afford to find out where I’m overdoing myself, but I am too excited to miss an opportunity. Here’s what I want to do: · Live in the Jimenez-Porter Writers’ House. Applications are due in March for next year. They have a one year and a two year program. I’d love to do the two year program, but I don’t know if I am willing to give up a year that I could spend abroad. My concerns: I was in a bad situation with my roommate of last year. I’m afraid that living in close quarters with someone who makes me uncomfortable will cause me to lose my stability. Also, living on campus means participating in a meal plan, and losing my kitchen. Though our campus food is good by campus food standards, I’ve grown used to eating much better here in the townhouse. · Study Abroad in England. There are two semester programs I would like to do in England. One is a semester in London. The other is a transfer program with a college in Sheffield. The only problem with this is that I probably wouldn’t be able to go to either until Fall ’04 at the earliest. By that time, finding classes that would fit right might be a challenge. · Double Major. My school has an Independent Studies program that lets you design a major. I’ve looked at classes in the Psychology, English, and Education Departments, and I think I can design a pretty good curriculum for a Tutoring major. Some of the credits would count toward my English major as well, but most would just be extra. This might leave me as an undergraduate for a lot longer than I would like. · Take the upper level writing seminars. This would be a problem in that in order to do so, I would have to take a Creative Writing concentration in English. I am currently doing Language, Writing, and Rhetoric, and I want to keep that. I probably could take the seminars then change my concentration, but that would feel very false. · Take winter and summer classes every year. I may just need a break eventually. Am I going to overload myself? I don’t know, and I’m scared. I guess I’ll find out soon. previous week – top – blog home – discuss – next week |
All original material © 2003 Erika Salomon.
